The end of things
Jun. 23rd, 2010 04:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mellotron_breakfastI want to thank all of you for the moral support and encouragement in this tough time.
I made the decision to put Oona to sleep because the veterinarians determined that she had a problem that could not be cured, one which was very painful to her. She was bleeding internally, putting pressure on all of her internal organs, in turn preventing her from eating. This problem was most likely caused by the spread of cancer. The fluid itself could not be drained to temporarily alleviate the pain because it was bloody, so she would have died of shock.
I had other choices like x-rays and ultrasounds, to determine which part of her was internally bleeding and then operate to sew it up, knowing that the cause of that problem--cancer--would probably just cause it to happen again, or letting her carry on for two weeks or two months knowing she was suffering quite badly and expecting her to die naturally.
This killed me because no matter what I chose, I could rationalize it as being a selfish bastard, or at least imagine someone else doing so. If I put her down, I'm going to let you guess why anyone might interpret that negatively. If I didn't, then it's to keep her going, in pain, to keep me happy and to avoid having to make a difficult decision. There really was no happy end to this in my estimation.
I got to have some moments alone while she was on knockout gas. I explained as well as I could why I made this decision and why it was difficult for me and then I apologized that nothing could be done. I said I loved her, and so did everyone who got a chance to meet her.
She's going to be cremated with other pets at once. I didn't ask for ashes back because I really don't have anything to do with them.
I made the decision to put Oona to sleep because the veterinarians determined that she had a problem that could not be cured, one which was very painful to her. She was bleeding internally, putting pressure on all of her internal organs, in turn preventing her from eating. This problem was most likely caused by the spread of cancer. The fluid itself could not be drained to temporarily alleviate the pain because it was bloody, so she would have died of shock.
I had other choices like x-rays and ultrasounds, to determine which part of her was internally bleeding and then operate to sew it up, knowing that the cause of that problem--cancer--would probably just cause it to happen again, or letting her carry on for two weeks or two months knowing she was suffering quite badly and expecting her to die naturally.
This killed me because no matter what I chose, I could rationalize it as being a selfish bastard, or at least imagine someone else doing so. If I put her down, I'm going to let you guess why anyone might interpret that negatively. If I didn't, then it's to keep her going, in pain, to keep me happy and to avoid having to make a difficult decision. There really was no happy end to this in my estimation.
I got to have some moments alone while she was on knockout gas. I explained as well as I could why I made this decision and why it was difficult for me and then I apologized that nothing could be done. I said I loved her, and so did everyone who got a chance to meet her.
She's going to be cremated with other pets at once. I didn't ask for ashes back because I really don't have anything to do with them.
